Thank You...

   The timing couldn't have been more prolific. Who would've thought the day after my 41st birthday that my ability to run would just up and disappear? This week was supposed to be a nice end of summer vacation for my family and me. Unfortunately it's been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. There's many more doctor's appointments and questions to be asked.

   What do I know? After getting a MRI yesterday it appears that my spinal column has narrowed and I have a herniated or protruding disc (they mean the same thing) in my lumbar region (lower back). All of this is causing lower back pain and numbness in my right leg. It's practically impossible to stand or walk for any period of time. 

   I can't stand, I can't walk I can't do anything other than think about this right now. So, I needed to do something. So I did something stupid and researched my injury on the internet. I know, I know, never to do this! I found a lot of information that was difficult to interpret and disheartening to read. Some were success stories. Some were so tragic they left me in tears. 

     To answer one question that's surely on everyone's mind, yes my running streak ended yesterday at 609 days and 2,762 miles. I made the extremely difficult decision last night to stop rather than risk doing even more damage. As with anything, the information out there on continuing running with this type of injury is contradictory. Some professionals recommended not doing it, others said that it wouldn't cause anymore damage. Until I get my professional diagnosis and speak with my new orthopedic spine surgeon this Friday I thought it was best to call it quits. The pain was so intense last night that it was causing me to see stars and almost pass out every time I tried to walk. It was time to let it go. Out of all of my running related achievements those past 609 days are one of my greatest. I started out just wanting to last 366 days and came out the other end with almost double that number changed forever. It was such an amazing experience that taught me I didn't know as much about running as I once thought I did. I met some truly amazing people who continue to run on into the streaking future making my 609 days look like chump change. I learned to blog, video podcast and was shocked to find that so many people followed my journey. My wife thought I was a loveable nut, my son thought I was a superhero and my friends didn't bring the topic up because they got sick of me rambling on and on about it. I ran through sweltering heat and humidity, heavy rainfall, snow and sleet. I ran after long days of work, during and after a surprise birthday party, on holidays and special occasions. If there's one thing that I can say about it all it's that anyone who wants to get to know themselves better should give it a try. It wasn't hard when you took it day by day. Just a mile a day was the admission price to come to know myself on a deeper level, see some amazing scenery and wildlife, push my limits past perceived boundaries. It was truly a gift to experience a beautiful type of quiet that can only be found in complete darkness at 11:50 PM EST, in the brilliant rays of Christmas morning dawn while the world still sleeps and in the stillness of the trail when it's only you and a grinning puppy amidst the trees. There are thing that I can not put into words about this special time in my life. Went out to dinner last night with the family to celebrate the end of an amazing era. 

   To answer the other big question, yes I've pulled out of all of my scheduled races for the year. No Rochester Marathon, Can 50K or Mendon 50K. If you think that signing up for your first ultra-marathon is difficult, try withdrawing from it. It really hurts the wallet as well. This will be the first year that I haven't run a marathon since 2005. So sad. Unfortunately the blog will be ending as well. I'll still keep the site up. But there's little to write or tape when you're not training to go five miles more.

   You've all been so encouraging and I wouldn't of gotten this far without your love and support. I'm not writing this for your pity. I'm just letting some friends know that I'm human. I'm not sure what the future is going to hold. I pray that it involves running somehow. I've gotten so much from it. It's part of who I am. Sometimes though, I have a tendency to overdo things in my life. Maybe that's what happened in this case. Or maybe it was only a matter of time. Balance is something that continues to elude me in my life. Please understand that the next few months are going to be a difficult transition for me to make. I'm not giving up. Not by a long shot. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an active guy. I'm going to get some good information on Friday and focus my energies on overcoming this particular challenge. I will keep everyone up to date through Facebook as best I can.

   I've always said that living life means taking risks. Without risking anything in your life, you're just existing. I've never been the kind of guy to sit around and watch the day go idly by. Running has done a lot for me and my life. Helped me to more fully experience my world. At times it's been a blessing. At others it's caused unneeded stress and anguish. But I'd like to think it's done more good than bad. From what I can understand coming back from an injury like this is different from person to person. There is no standard recovery time. I don't think that it's the nail in my coffin that I'm dreading it is. But if it is, then I can look back on everything and smile with a sense of satisfaction. You can't run for 12 years and log over 27,665 miles and not feel like you got somewhere.

   As I think back to the beginning I think of the person who started it all. I don't rarely talk about my wife. She's a private woman. Not the kind to put her stuff out there. She's been my biggest supporter and sometimes hater of my running career. 12 years ago she gave me the encouragement to stop dreaming and start doing. Since that first 5K I haven't looked back. I've eclipsed what she thought, what I thought, what anyone thought a formerly obese, non-athletic little kid could ever do. She's the most amazing social worker that I know who's helped countless people and saved numerous lives during the time that I've known her. She's been my rock through all of this and yet again, she's determined to make this another one of my success stories.

 My family, my friends, thank you for everything you have done. Thank you for believing in me when I didn't myself. This is not the end. Thank you for riding that lightning with me...